Life hacks for raising twins

A trio of twinning tactics that took us to ten months.

Tip 1

The fascinating fashion for minimalism is the new fervent foe of Feng Shui; there’s no need to position your stuff in the right places anymore as you’re better off getting rid of everything all together and bask in the energy of nothingness. STOP! Before you make your family sleep on an Instagram friendly black and white chevron straw mat in the corner of your bleached white cube, follow these simple steps to keep your kids occupied on the cheap with an entertaining sensory box. Trust me, you’ll need every penny you can scrape together.

Image source: @Rad_Young_Things
  1. Head towards and into your kitchen.
  2. In a methodical clockwise motion seek out all the bits and pieces you don’t use anymore that seem about the right size for a baby to handle.
  3. Repeats step 1 and 2 in every room at home.

Amongst the weird and wonderful things you bought yourself every time you imagine you’re a chef, the hoard will mainly consist of little gifts friends and family burdened you with, and little gifts you decided not to burden friends and family with. Naturally, it goes without saying, don’t include anything sharp, too pointy or heavy that can hurt your kids. For bonus points the real jackpot of obsolete junk will be your own parents homes as they’ve normally spent several decades longer on earth amassing masses of useless things. They’ll have to downsize soon anyway so whilst they play with their grandkids you’ll be doing them and yourself a pre-emptive favour.

Yesterday’s foray into the kitchen found these things in this forensic line up, which I road tested with much success on the twins just before dinner.

Image source: @Rad_Young_Things
  • No idea. Metal springy thing you put an egg in to boil?
  • Unused hot chocolate whisk (you will likely have several of these)
  • Muscle protein powder scoop from the two-day attempt to get buff in the summer of 2009.
  • Muscle protein powder scoop from similar ideas of grandeur in 2013.
  • Sake vessel heavily used 2 decades ago at university for any old shot.
  • Toast tongs, for when your forefinger and thumb just won’t do.
  • Citrus fruit reamer
  • Ugly Bakelite bowl

With your little objects gathered, place them in a box your little human objects can get into, and bring out when the garish battery laden, perpetual tune pushing hunks of polymeric material cease to impress. Sensory play is, quite simply, any activity that stimulates the senses. These are the five main senses of touch, smell, sight, taste, and sound, as well as, proprioceptive (sense of where each body part is in relation to the rest) and vestibular (sense of balance). Essentially with twins this becomes at least 14 senses to stimulate so a vessel filled with many types of textures, shapes and sizes is worth its weight in gold.

Tip 2

So, we’ve streamlined your interior by cleaning out your draws and cupboards, now let’s work on whittling down friends that are no use to you anymore. Only joking. Somewhat. Spending all day holding and entertaining one baby is tiring, having to alternate between two babies is exhausting! If you always surround yourself with other parents (especially twin parents) you will have a wonderful time, but expect limited help and support as they will have their own bundles of joy to contend with. Handling your twins is often like wrestling a bag of eels, so this little tip is just some maths to help that challenge. Like us, some of you may have given up on NCT courses in the first few weeks, as brainstorming for hours on how to deal with baby being overdue when you know they’ll be plucked out of tummies early is like buying shares in the chocolate teapot industry. Naturally you will likely gravitate towards twin clubs and groups, but beware the twin parent; they can lend an ear, lend lashings of learned advice, but the thing you mostly need that they can’t provide, are their hands. Surround yourself with non-babied friends and family and the more the kids will be passed pillar to post to give you a well-earned breather. Essentially, don’t be afraid to ask for a hand ever.

Here we had 7.3 recurring adult hands to help with babies.

Image source: @Rad_Young_Things

And more recently we managed a spectacular 15.3 recurring adult hands to help with babies!

Image source: @Rad_Young_Things

Tip 3

Finally, this extra little tip is just to thwart something I’ve caught myself doing that I want to keep an eye on. You’ll soon come to a stage where your twins can sit up, chose which muscle powder scoop they want to play with and have hours of fun with each other. At this point it naturally becomes easier to crack on with what you need to do and get a bit of time back for yourself. You’ll hear time and time again from parents of one kid, that you are lucky you can do that. Whilst I recognise the importance of it, you’ve also had a few decades on earth to dedicate to yourself, so a few more minutes pretending to be a lobster won’t hurt. I think it’s essential that you remember how important your time playing around with them is, sure they’ve got each other, but nothing beats time with you. It goes quick, so if you can, don’t let them get on with it by themselves too soon, you’ll be crying on their first day of hyperspace travel to intergalactic university before you know it.

Image source: @Rad_Young_Things
Matt Crump

Matt Crump is a dad of twins aka “Rad Young Things” over on Instagram, where he has documented his new family life right from the start. His wife Katie has since joined in on the world of social notworking and together their blogging efforts have a combined home at www.radyoungthings.com

1 Comment
  1. Wow. I have to say I really enjoy your words. This is funny and very true ! I love the mock on all white images that are popular (and killing me bc my girls love color and so do I ) great post ! Can’t wait to see what u write up next !

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